Monday, January 10, 2011




Get Well Soon

Dear Billy and Little Baby,
Get well soon so that we can party:):) The blog is so empty, kuch mazay ka likho na.

Love, hugs and Duas....Apple Sid

Monday, January 3, 2011

LUMS through my cam lens

this is outside the library where i have been lost and found most of the time at lums. this pic was taken during the mid terms week (october 2010). there's something beautiful about this mess on the racks. i never lost something from here.=)













when it starts getting cold and you just want to have a warm cozy time sitting outside the academic block on a brick sill, with the masjid minaret clearly in view. at 12 noon, the sun is at your back and it shines on the lums masjid in front of your eyes some 20 yards away. this pic was taken in november 2010

















chucky and most likely her little kitten. to be honest i am not sure if chucky is a male or female but i would like her to be a female. i will confirm with someone on college or maybe with chucky and update on its gender asap :) this is outside the superstore.














when the going gets tough: this was taken at the ground floor in the academic block. when people around you annoy you, and you become parasitic on your own self, and when courses and grades are low, you look at this light pouring on the floor from the glass 2 storeys above, and smile.
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Saturday, January 1, 2011

that's me

something i made on 10th october 2007 as part of cs-101 assignment. cute freshiness.

http://suraj.lums.edu.pk/~cs11106/

2010: Discoveries and Rediscoveries

this has been the second most exciting year of my life (nothing can beat 2009), and it's so because it's been full of new things i have learnt, and more than that, things i have relearnt, in sometimes a brand new way, and sometimes in an old manner but it amazes me i forgot my lesson from them from the last time :P. well that's me; actually that's human. i plan not to order and format this post, so here goes. straight from the heart, onto this blog.

1.  family is a beautiful gift, a blessing, a responsibility one can happily be ready to meet, any day, in any way.

2. you cannot pull or push fate and predestination. yes, this is part of imaan, the basics of faith...i learnt it back when i started to learn anything at all, but the start, mid and especially the end of 2010 has really taught me this. nothing really is in our hands.

3. self respect is irreplacable, irreparable. i (and you, and every single person of this creation) can only negate the self through drowning in love.

4. there is only one Being worthy of love. and that's Allah. no doubts, no questions, no second thoughts about that. when every one leaves, Allah still is with me. when i give up on myself, Allah doesn't quit on me. He is my Best Friend. He is my Reason. He is all my Reasons. Whenever, and whereever i have forgotten this and acted in opposition to this, infinite praise be to the Being that Allah Is, He has reminded me and pulled me out of the mess, the zulm that i do on myself. the reason why we lose out on people and ourselves is because we give ourselves in love to something and someone other than Allah. we sell ourselves way short of what worth Allah holds us in. He knows how to love. it's just sad that we forget it. why i say is that we forget it is because by default (by fitrah) we all love Him, but 4 things make us forget it, 3 of which are  shaytaan, dunya, nafs. your carnal, lower, mere self can be called nafs in Arabic.

5. reading 3 and 4 together, nothing that this world has to offer is above your self respect. note that self respect is not the same as ego. self respect is looking at your self in the mirror without complaining, walking down the street without worrying that others are looking at you. self respect is above liking someone. it's an amanat from Allah, so i should treat it that way.

6. honesty is beautiful. the constant whining and complaining we do about friends leaving us, backstabbers, dishonest companions, illogical outcomes,betrayals, is because we have not been honest to ourselves, friends and family. not been honest to God, to deen, to Sunnah.

7. toy story is the greatest movie ever. 1 and 3 are awesome, but 2 is super awesome. 

8. life becomes better increasingly as one keeps reducing watching tv. 

9. reading fiction aint as bad as i thought

10. i can read stuff on politics any time.

11. no matter how strong you are, how dominating a personality you may be, how well your leadership qualities may be, who you spend time with, eat and drink with, sit and walk with. basically your friends and your suhbat affect you like crazy.it will affect your thinking, your outlook, your sense of style, your lifestyle. it wont affect you ofcourse if you are hanging out cuz you are scared of being alone.

12. there's immense importance and need to be alone for some time everyday. it's a pleasure to sit alone everyday, with heart and mind pausing everything else in life and the world.

13. what's not liked by God cannot make you happy in the long run.

14. my heart is still yearning for Makkah and Madinah. the longing is not decreasing alhumduliLLAH

15. my opinion about facebook when i last signed in has not changed uptil now. 

16. doing masters is not that bad an idea afterall (just learnt it in the last week of dec 2010)

17. being free is not as attractive after you have had a good night's sleep. 

18. i will miss LUMS more than i thought i would. i will miss it because of what studying in its rooms gave me. what eating alone in the pdc made of me. what praying in the masjid built in me. i will miss its library and its people. some teachers, some students changed my life for good.

19. expect less, give more. 

20. my respect for Imam Ghazali has increased manifold.

21. my respect and love for Hadhrat Umr has surged manifold.

22. it's very very important to listen to the other person. 

23. the whole of bollywood sucks.(this is a near discovery)

24. being lazy is my weakest and worst habit.

25. writing is a great activity.

26. white all the way. i have tried countless themes and designs and backgrounds for this blog, and its the third time i am returning to plain white.. cyprus blue still is my favourite colour, but white might beat it very dangerously soon.=)

27. i love fridays.


more shall come, if i feel like entering them
but yes, 2010 was a lot of fun in the beginning. awesome in rajab and ramadan. very boring and dry, confusing and sad after september till december. great in december. from my gang, one friend got married, another had a baby. but my life remains flat and smooth, yet has been exciting for my soul and spirit. and i am loving it. All thanks to Allah. Love Him

Sunday, November 28, 2010

the simple made complicated.

ignorance is bliss and i could not agree more at this point in time. i am too much aware of how and in what all things in the world i am wasting my time on, and what all i ought to do. it goes beyond a simple to-do thing. i know how important these things are for me to do. had i just known i have to do x,y and z by dates a,b and c [in my life for the most part a=b=c :( ] i might have been much much happier and felt much light at heart and head. but universities are inclined to make things complicated and so my list ends up looking like it is at the moment.
- have to write x, which can be on any thing from prehistory to WWII. yes that's the range. i cant decide whether to be a hunter gatherer or Constantine's soldier or head of Auschwitz. right now i am thinking i will just be a school father in Lagash 2350 B.C.E. but i really want to be Tariq bin Zayad's soldier in Gibraltar.
- have to assess the microfinance sector in Pakistan, in preferably 4000 words. sounds simple, but i can choose any variables to draw any conclusions. Sir rightly said there are no right or wrong answers, but that just added to the complications in writing an otherwise straightforward essay
- write a story. about anyone, anything, in real or imaginary world, set in any place and time. now we all know our lives deserve to go onto the storyboard and there's so much to learn from everyday experiences and daily musings of a university student with upset sleep cycle and stomach. i mean i can write a novel on alice's adventures on the student_events mailing lists and the climactic surprise ending of the Music society's anniversary concert. i can also write about a girl who always procrastinated and still didn't drop out of LUMS (because everyone else was no different, except ofcourse some ACFMs and excited freshies ).
now all these have to be submitted more or less in the same time frame, lets call the range B. B for Bah. B for BSc.
i wish i didn't know history was so rich, and that i could write on anything from a tree named barck,(a is deliberately missing) to a hanger in a laundry called Bella.there's just too much happening all the time. too much flux.
i think i will now write an abstract of my microfinance paper. more interestingly, objective findings of my university life suggest that too much freedom, not knowledge is a dangerous thing. awkward ending, but i really need to go.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Friday, November 19, 2010

Go AKP! Go Turkey!!

Sultan of the Muslim World | Foreign Affairs

i am so glad to learn about AKP's leanings. it should be clear that you look
and feel good where you belong. and Turkey belongs to the East w.r.t
demographics and modern history. East here means Muslim Ummah


p.s: i was also wondering if the solution to some problems of the Muslim
ummah today is directly related to our strategies adopted in terms of 
foreign relations and outlook. i think we as muslims desperately need 
introspection: we should  dig inwards and try to revive ourselves with
clear priorities and identity, and this will show on us as an Ummah. in 
other words, build yourself strong from inwards, and other things will 
fall into place. and also think like this that i would want that
when someone looks at me, keeping in mind that i am a Muslim, s/he
should wonder "if this person is so awesome, i wonder how beautiful 
his Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) must have  been" . and 
in her/his  heart, s/he should feel like saying subhanAllah...

btw awesome here doesn't mean you being himym addict and definitely 
not that you wear a che guevara tee shirt. sheesh!

18th November 2010 - Shaykh Kamaluddin on CII Broadcasting

-in The Name of Allah-

(Right click and Save as...)




Monday, November 15, 2010

Multazim par Dua

Zahir Ki Aankh Say Na Tamasha Karay Koi
Ho Dekhna Toh Deeda-e-Dil Waa Karay Koi
Arr Baithay Kya Samajh Kay Bhala Tuur Par Kaleem
Taaqat Ho Deed Ki Toh Taqaza Karay Koi

Ilaahi Teri Chaukhat Par Bhikaari Ban Kay Aya Hoon
Saraapa Faqr Hoon, Ijz-o-Nadaamat Saath Laya Hoon

Ilaahi Teri Chaukhat Par Bhikaari Ban Kay Aya Hoon
Saraapa Faqr Hoon, Ijz-o-Nadaamat Saath Laya Hoon

Bhikaari Wo Kay Jis Kay Paas Jholi Hai Na Piyaala Hai
Bhikaari Wo Jisay Hirs-o-Hawas Nay Maar Dala Hai

Mata-e-Deen-o-Daanish Nafs Kay Haathon Say Lutwa Kar
Sukoon-e-Qalb Ki Daulat Hawas Ki Bhaint Chharwa Kar

Luta Kar Saari Poonji Ghaflat-o-Isyaan Ki Daldal Main
Sahara Lenay Aya Hoon Teray Ka'abay Kay Aanchal Main

Gunaaahon Ki Lipat Say Ka'ainat-e-Qalb Afsurda
Iraaday Muzmehal, Himmat Shikasta, Hauslay Murda

Kahan Say Laoon Taaqat Dil Ki Sachhi Tarjumani Ki
Kay Is Jhanjaal Main Guzri Hain Ghariyan Zindagi Ki

Khulasa Yeh Kay Bas Jal Bhun Kay Apni Ru-Siyaahi Say
Saraapa Faqr Ban Kar Apni Haalat Ki Tabaahi Say 

Teray Darbaar Main Laya Hoon Apni Ab Zabun Hali
Teri Chaukhat Kay Laaiq Har Amal Say Haath Hain Khaali

Yeh Tera Ghar Hai Teray Mehr Ka Darbaar Hai Maula
Saraapa Noor Hai Aik Mohbat-e-Anwaar Hai Maula

Teri Chaukhat Kay Jo Aadab Hain Main Un Say Khaali Hoon
Nahin Jis Ko Saliqa Maangnay Ka Wo Sawali Hoon

Zuban Gharq-e-Nadaamat Dil Ki Naaqas Tarjumani Par
Khudaya Rehem Meri Is Zamanay Bay Zubani Par

Yeh Aankhain Khushk Hain Yaa Rab Inhain Rona Nahin Aata
Sulagtay Daagh Hain Dil Main Jinhain Dhona Nahin Aata Hai

Ilaahi Teri Chaukhat Par Bhikaari Ban Kay Aya Hoon
Saraapa Faqr Hoon, Ijz-o-Nadaamat Saath Laya Hoon
Saraapa Faqr Hoon, Ijz-o-Nadaamat Saath Laya Hoon


Multazim par dua...by junaid jamshed

to download Multazim par Dua, click here

The Fruits of Virtue - IslamOnline.net - Living Sharia'h

what is increasingly amazing me is the stories of converts to Islam. it makes me thank Allah more and more that i am born Muslim. i could never had the enormous strength that these men and women have gathered and converted. SubhanAllah, Allah Guides who so ever He Wills, and He chose these people... so they are chosen ones :) and then Allah out of His infinite Mercy made so many like me born into a Muslim family... so we are lucky and chosen in our own way too.:) Alhumdullilah!!

bas ek dua:


زندگی رہے اسلام پر
خاتمہ ہو ایمان پر

Ameen...

enjoy the link below:


The Fruits of Virtue - IslamOnline.net - Living Sharia'h

Friday, November 12, 2010

power beyond influence that obama has... on me

i wont call it my 6th sense but a kind of a feeling inside me tells me that the state of nature so very taken as an underlying assumption in western political philosophy, is not true. life is not nasty, short and brutish. it's one thing for it to be like that originally and another for us to have made it that way. my understanding of state of nature is a realization of there being a good, and there being an evil, and then knowing whats good and knowing whats evil. and the very notion of there being a centre and a reference point for every other point to determine its position means that i can at the very max believe in one product of western political philosophy:  republicanism. now i don't know how much the republicans in america would hold the idea of there being a true, good beautiful truth out there somewhere, so i won't want to recognize myself as a republicans' supporter, ever, especially after U.S Invasion of Iraq. at the same time i don't want to recognise myself as a democrat, simply because i don't think i want to (6th sense again? :S) in any way, i dont hold nice views about democracy . i don't believe in rule of the mob( demos means "mob" in greek ). i am averse to the child democracy begets and tames and brings up, which is mediocracy. and democratic capitalism or capitalist democracy dont even deserve a place in my world of ideas, and if they did, it would be the dustbin at best.

i went on a tangent before even writing what i initially intended to. so i want to tell this: i have always been drawn by obama. maybe its the power of the voice as hitler correctly realised it. maybe it's the beauty of a country evolving enough to have an african american as a president. maybe it's his confidence. i dont know. i remember seeing him for the first time in 2004 on a channel in the u.s. then i subscribed to his party's newsletter and followed through for 1 yr (2007). after 3 yrs, and his defeat just 2 weeks ago at the midterm elections, i still subscribed to his channel on youtube today. and oh yeah i also added him on linkedin.com.

i would like to call this power. the purest form of power which is simple influence. no one has asked me to do all this. it doesnt mean a thing to me if i follow up on him. life moves on. my adamant position for an alternative idea to hobbesian view stands as firmly as before. i still believe america is very much in reality playing hegemony and marxists still fool themselves to believe that the rest of the world is playing periphery. all other things remain constant, except this: power that one person can have on another. this is my new undertsanding of power. other might think this is similar to liking someone: you like somebody and they have an "effect" on you.

i couldn't care less about obama as a person in private life. i dont like democracy. i dont like democracts' ideas or lifestyles. yet this man, through his rallies before, and his speeches later, and his confidence throughout, and his no-chickening now, has managed to hold my attention for more than 3 yrs now, which is a big deal as i, for one, have held ever changing opinions since 2007. he remains one constant in all this time, and this fascinates me.

however, this is not to dismiss my genuine disappointment in the policy the white house is adopting for israel-palestine issue, it's silence over many things between india and pakistan ...actually it's more than just plain silence. silent dance on the tunes of india ...

Monday, November 1, 2010

meri jaan Pakistan.

abdur razzak just brought a smile back to many pakistanis' face, including mine ofcourse. Pakistan won a match. very very close call against south africa. and while i clapped standing on my sofa and jumping down on the carpet time and again in the last few overs, i simultaneously kept thinking why i haven't seen even one pakistan cricket team shirt on campus in my 3 yrs at lums? is it a general uncool thing to wear the green and dark green shirt of our very own national cricket team? or is it that lums is an exception and the gcu, punjab uni, KE, iba and szabists and what not's boys wear them? whats the matter? i have even seen my mates wearing shirts carrying turkey's flag (yes, thats true) at LUMS. but not a single pk cricket shirt amidst the plethora of arsenal, manu, chealsea(a minority really), and ac milan home kits, away kits, and old kits and new kits. maybe we might find them as nightsuit items in the male dorms. but still. whats the matter guys?

my new mission is to find a backpack with pakistan's flag on it or something. if i cant wear a shirt on top of my abaya, i can wear a green hijab, and yes i will tomorrow. i dont know whats the matter. talk about political, youth, social, passivity. when will we show our true selves guys? we are afraid of speaking in punjabi in front of others. we find how bad we are at urdu to be as something to boast about. urdu literature doesnt become anything more than a university core course for many of us. paindoo day is when we wear what our dada/nana/nani/dadi and still many of our own blood relatives dress up. we find dressing like dacoits hot. one thing i can very assertively conclude is that the yo day(when we overdress the way we normally do :jeans and tee shirts) is much more paindoo than the original paindoo day, if we are supposed to give paindoo and coolness ordinal values in our cartesian world of awesomeness references.

kher, i have gone on a tangent, but really my point is, stop hiding yourselves. green and white is what we are, and if the rest of the world can recognize us as that, we should stop shying away from it. be true, be honest, be yourself, be Pakistani, have some self-respect, and stop suffering from upper-elite class insecurity and superiority (read inferiority) complexes.

even if pk didnt win today, but played a good game with a sportsman spirit, we should still have our pk shirts out, only if we had them in the first place. tsk. < sigh.>

Sunday, October 31, 2010

i feel like a wild rose! LOL :D:D:D:D

this is my favourite mail on student events forum of LUMS. it has never failed to be a boredome buster. it has never failed to make me laugh, with audio impact :D no offence to the person who wrote it, if they ever read this piece of art that they wrote. i truly love it. brilliant. :D:D:D:D

22 June 2009 20:53

To: "student_events@lists.lums.edu.pk"
Subject: with reference to wild rose
Dear All,
I have an announcement to make. You know, or it would be more correct to say those of you, know, who have subscription to the student events, know that a DVD called 'Wild Rose' was lost on Friday night. It was mine, and I have collected it from Lab 1 attendant, Mr. Mohammad, who I must, must thank god had kept it safe from major scratches. I had borrowed this DVD on Friday night, and was much eager to watch it the same night in any of the labs with the microphones. But it was, I guess not meant to be watched that same night, and so it happened, that I misplaced it somewhere during I think one of my trips to the labs. I frantically looked for it everywhere, from the moment I realized that it was missing and I remember nonstop. I consciously tried hard to retrace my steps and then after I had a few faint recollections, I could not help but walk back to all potential places that came to my mind, and where I thought I might have placed it and then later from tiredness or sleepiness as it was quite late at night or may be from decreased capacity for attention had forgotten to pick it. But now it is with me and I am feeling much relieved. I gladly thank the dutiful staff of our shared haven, Lahore University of Management Sciences, who were able to find it by the third day from the day I lost it and then decided to send a reply to me. I must not forget to thank my fellow student or students if they chanced upon this DVD as a group in our state of the art, computer technology labs, which I would take this opportunity to say, we all must be thankful for to our efficient ITS department of the Lahore University of Management Sciences that we all undoubtedly are very proud of, and use it in a matured manner, the way a conscientious and adult student would naturally do, and I am sure that we all are now well above 20 years, well my family celebrated my 25th birthday this May, and value the access we all enjoy to the wonderful World Wide Web and so user friendly an invention like computers, and be individuals who are also fully capable of bearing the responsibility that falls on a person when he consciously does anything. Anyway, I am relieved and happy and thank you all for the concerned emails. They were quite comforting.

Your fellow student at Lahore University of Management Sciences.
_______________________________________________
If you would like to unsubscribe, Please send a blank email by clicking on: student_events-leave@lists.lums.edu.pk

Saturday, October 23, 2010

why this backdrop?

if you are Muslim, you must definitely have come across these words that make up the backdrop of my blog, and you would have hopefully recognised that these are actually Names of Allah swt.

the reason, besides the wish for this counting as remembrance of Allah and using this blog invoking His Names, is that these words constitute the Arabic equivalent of the title (and description )of this blog.

al-Awwal : (superlative form i suppose) the First
al-Ahad: the only One
al-Waahid (active speech subject):  the One
al-Samad: Unity/Uno-ness. that which has One-ness
al-Haqq: the Truth
al-Mubdi: the Originator
al-Muqaddim: the Initiator.. that Who puts forward.

so the cause is always One, it is First, hence it forms the origins and it gives initiation to things, (hence it should be the Creator of them as well).. its always there so it is the First principle, the first Truth.

Glorified is the Being that Allah is. I witness that He is all that which these Names refer to. and He is Perfect in them.

a documentary worth watching



i also like its effects, finish, choice of people interviewed. and ofcourse i trust the source relatively more than other FP/IR bodies.

Pakistan Zindabad, if Allah Wills.


click on this post's title please!

Saturday, September 25, 2010

how my major helps keep me real....and sane

this time around, in my last semester at lums mashAllah, i have such diverse courses. maybe i have had such diversity earlier too but this time i can feel the eclectic-ness, if thats a word.
there is one intro level course...hist100...into to historical studies. skipping , rather reserving my comments about the instructor, its nice, fun, typical methodology is being used. evolution is taught, flood becomes a myth, hazrat Nooh (as) 's age becomes controversial, creationism is denied a place and terms of its own. so much so for the preliminaries. i liked the grading scheme though. its also the only course that i dont have cp points in, yet have strong temptations to give my very weighty two cents: evolution as a theory has a huge question mark in contemporary science. i think the instructor needs to share this vital info with the class too.
and then there is agriculture ad food policy. there is not one class that goes and i dont miss farmville or think about it at least. there are tractors, subsidies, red winter wheat, cotton, bt cotton also, tube-wells and farmer's problems, landlords' oppression. all that is interesting for me.
law and economics is dry, initially started well; maybe it will end on a great note too. but for now its a drag. sir loves cars and gadgets, and it shows on him.
i have one literature course in which we do poetry, poems, rhythms, beats, tones, voices, narrator, author, characters, details and descriptions, women, romanticism... all that takes me on a flight to imagination, to another world. escapism maybe an appropriate insert here. you are supposed to let go of your reality, of the stereotypes, generalisations and also sanity, if you wish.
now thats where i have a problem. it sounds fun, and attractive, but that just stays first only during the weekends, then only as long as the class is, and then not even in the class. the duration of its attraction has shrunk for me progressively over time. i like a bit of escapism. but this much? really diff to digest. its always good to imagine , but we are also imagining in one particular direction too here.
my major (econ pol) with personal inclination to pol, lets me remember that while i may want to imagine and escape and watch Honey I Shrunk x y and z Again, there are people dying a few miles away from my beloved city. dying of what? not obesity or heart attacks or heartaches as bollywood would like to reason out, but because they cannot find the friggin' clean water to drink. while we discuss in class that we should read for the sake of reading, for deriving "pleasure" out of reading, i am disgusted at the term "pleasure"...it seems a slap in the face of relief workers and army soldiers rescuing people trapped and almost drowned in the floods.
i also have politics of international terrorism as a course, and while the instructor, or any instructor in the world, may not do justice to a subject matter like this, i like it because we study about hamas, about plo, about israel's insecurity complex, about hezbollah, about taliban, and then relate it with nato, u.n, isi, cia, swat, KP, peshawar, osama bin laden, al-qaeda, and then also with aafia siddiqui, with guantanamo, with mullah omer et al, and all the people who are far from imaginary, and events that are the worst of nightmares.
while i plan to read flannery o'connor's piece, i have a feeling of munafaqat, of hypocrisy and deceit, that i am doing. to myself? no. to a higher Cause, a higher Being, who has created reality and put me in the midst or margin of it to deal with it...while i am too posh to get my hands dirty in the field and do something substantially material for my brothers and sisters whose blood is being shed, whos name is dishonoured, whose religion and cause is snubbed, i can at least read on them. i can atleast remember them, which i cannot while i think conjecture about the neolithic revolution or about a good man who is hard to find.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

by junaid jamshed....awesome mashAllah!!



http://khudi.wordpress.com/2009/06/23/dua-e-tariq-tariq-bin-ziyads-dua-in-iqbals-words/