Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find peace.

LUMS Masjid

there are times when the only thing i want to hear is the recitation of Imaam sahab at LUMS Masjid. To hear him when he recites the last few verses of Surah Hashr and heart trembles despite the hangover of sins and ghaflat. SubhanAllah, what voice Allah empowers some with.
LUMS Masjid is where i learnt that there is another dimension to life, to world, to lifestyle, to every Allah ki bandi.  Ajeeb. The Masjid that is not many meters away from the rooms where the masjid is debunked, its essence disected, its existence questioned. The masjid is also only a few yards away from REDC, the space with white marble chipped in and "coveted corporates" who charge a couple of thousand dollars to tell how to balance the dunya and..the dunya. ajeeb.
In front of the masjid is the parking lot that's no its own, but reserved for the cuff-linked people at REDC and the respected faculty of LUMS. One of the tiles on the way to entrance of LADIES ONLY section is very wobbly to step at. I never knew which one it was. another tile has a little green stem with small leaves growing form underneath its odd base.
I miss LUMS Masjid.

Daura Tafseer by Shaykh Kamaluddin Ahmed - Daily Live Broadcast: www.islamicspirituality.org

A Letter to the Culture that Raised Me | Yasmin Mogahed | A Life of Submission. A Piece of Serenity.

A Letter to the Culture that Raised Me | Yasmin Mogahed | A Life of Submission. A Piece of Serenity.

Growing up, you read me the Ugly Duckling. And for years I believed that was me. For so long you taught me I was nothing more than a bad copy of the standard (men).

I couldn’t run as fast or lift as much. I didn’t make the same money and I cried too often. I grew up in a man’s world where I didn’t belong.

And when I couldn’t be him, I wanted only to please him. I put on your make-up and wore your short skirts. I gave my life, my body, my dignity, for the cause of being pretty. I knew that no matter what I did, I was worthy only to the degree that I could please and be beautiful for my master. And so I spent my life on the cover of Cosmo and gave my body for you to sell.

I was a slave, but you taught me I was free. I was your object, but you swore it was success. You taught me that my purpose in life was to be on display, to attract, and be beautiful for men. You had me believe that my body was created to market your cars. And you raised me to think I was an ugly duckling. But you lied.

Islam tells me, I’m a swan. I’m different – it’s meant to be that way. And my body, my soul, was created for something more.

God says in the Qur’an, “O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.” (49:13)

So I am honored. But it is not by my relationship to men. My value as a woman is not measured by the size of my waist or the number of men who like me. My worth as a human being is measured on a higher scale: a scale of righteousness and piety. And my purpose in life – despite what the fashion magazines say – is something more sublime than just looking good for men.

And so God tells me to cover myself, to hide my beauty and to tell the world that I’m not here to please men with my body; I’m here to please God. God elevates the dignity of a woman’s body by commanding that it be respected and covered, shown only to the deserving – only to the man I marry.

So to those who wish to ‘liberate’ me, I have only one thing to say: “Thanks, but no thanks.”

I’m not here to be on display. And my body is not for public consumption. I will not be reduced to an object, or a pair of legs to sell shoes. I’m a soul, a mind, a servant of God. My worth is defined by the beauty of my soul, my heart, my moral character. So, I won’t worship your beauty standards, and I don’t submit to your fashion sense. My submission is to something higher.

With my veil I put my faith on display – rather than my beauty. My value as a human is defined by my relationship with God, not by my looks. I cover the irrelevant. And when you look at me, you don’t see a body. You view me only for what I am: a servant of my Creator.

You see, as a Muslim woman, I’ve been liberated from a silent kind of bondage. I don’t answer to the slaves of God on earth. I answer to their King.

Things to do

Question: What do you when you have house-full, exams in less than 6 days, an important wedding ceremony to attend, and are acutely short of sleep?

Answer: Sleep.

Love

In the darkness of the night cooed a pigeon
On a branch, in weakness, while I was asleep.
I lied; By Allah, were I a lover
The pigeon would not have outpaced me in weeping.
I assume I am lovesick, love struck
But I weep not, while animals weep. 


----
Written by a beloved of Allah

Salah-Prayer-Namaaz

Myself.

had i been left to myself,

pits i would have fallen into, nay, crashed in

had i been left to myself,

darkness would have devoured my heart, heedlessness set in

had i been left to myself.

ruined, damaged, stung within,

had i been left to myself,

i wouldn't have been,

but a rubble of sin.

Support Your Child’s Religious Development

Support Your Child’s Religious Development

May 30th, 2012 

by Ahmed.

One of the saddest situations is when parents are not supportive of their children’s choice to become more serious about their religion citing that they are too young or any other excuse. Some go to the extent of threatening their children if they will try to increase in spirituality.

This happens to spouses as well.

Rather than discourage them, we should be very happy when they incline towards the Almighty in a bigger way than ourselves.  Perhaps our children and family members could be a means of our entry into Paradise by our mere support of their achievements.  If we block them from getting closer to the Almighty, we may suffer severe consequences at some stage unless we repent.

May the Almighty strengthen us to be an asset to our family members by assisting them get closer to the Almighty.

Mufti Ismail Menk

Dunya ka mela

the coolness of my eyes

back in school, we studied a series of Islamic Studies books, by Abdul Aziz. The most fascinating title of topics in our syllabus was "The coolness of my eyes lies in Salah"....turned out this was a hadith and stuck in my head because of the strange beauty in the sentence structure that Prophet s.a.w used..coolness of my eyes


turns out Allah Has Desired eyes to remain forever cool because of the nemat in the form of :

Salah as mentioned earlier;
Parents
Spouse
Children
dhikr
for each and every one of us.

and also in:
Masjid
Green colour
His remembrance
His ways
His beautiful Names
His in'amaat
beautiful signs of His
arabic language....simply written any where!
the name of His beloved s.a.w
sleep
the oasis of iman in the middle of our mundane-dry lives
the Bait of His where only those He Invites enter in salaam...
that green dome in the heart of the heart of the world.

...........

A TALK BY SHAYKH KAMALUDDIN AHMED

on Sunday, May 13th

Time: 7.45 PM

Venue: 6A-H, Gulberg III, Lahore

(Open to both Men and Women)

Online Broadcast: www.islamicspirituality.org

mere pyaare baba ke liye from your GL!

Allahu Noor...

By Yusuf Islam


How great the wonders of the heavens
And the timeless beauty of the night
How great – then how great the Creator?
And its stars like priceless jewels
Far beyond the reach of kings
Bow down for the shepherd guiding him home.

But how many eyes are closed
To the wonder of this night?
Like pearls, hidden, deep beneath a dark
Stream of desires.
But like dreams vanish with the call to prayer
And the dawn extinguishes night – here too are signs.
God is the Light - God is the Light

How great the beauty of the Earth and the creatures
Who dwell on her.
How great – then how great the Creator?
As its mountains pierce the clouds
High above the lives of men
Weeping rivers for thousands of years.

But how many hearts are closed
To the wonders of this sight?
Like birds in a cage, asleep with closed wings
But like work stops with the call to prayer
And the birds reside – here too are signs
God is the Light – God is the Light

How great the works of man and the things he makes
How great – then how great the Creator?
Though he strives to reach the heavens
He can barely survive
The wars of the world he lives in.

Yet, how many times he’s tried,
Himself to immortalise?
Like his parents before him in the Garden of Eden
But like the sun sets with the call to prayer
And surrenders to the night here too are signs
God is the Light Everlasting
God is the Light Everlasting
God is the Light Everlasting
God is the Light Everlasting


Lyrics taken from here: 

The Three who Stayed Behind

The Three who Stayed Behind

The Three who Stayed Behind

The story of the three who stayed behind is a very inspiring and moving story from the seerah. The story is referred to in the holy Qur'an in verses 117 and 118 of surat Al-Tawbah. The details of the story are told by Ka'ab ibn Malik, who was actually one of the three men. The story goes as follows.

When the Messenger of Allah decided to launch the Tabuk expedition, he asked all able bodied men to join him, except for those who have special circumstances that would prevent them from travelling and leaving their homes for a long time. Valid excuses would be an illness or elderly parents who need care. The companions rushed to obey the Messenger (pbuh) and they prepared themselves for the long trip.

The Tabuk expedition occured in a very inopportune time for most people. It was a very hot time of the year, and most people avoided long travels during this time. The distance from Al-Madinah to Tabuk was over 500 kilometers, a trip that would take many days by foot or on camels and horses. Also, it was the time of harvest for many owners of gardens around Al-Madinah. Travelling at this time would mean that they would not be able to harvest, and would incur large financial losses.

Yet, even with all of these difficulties, the vast majority of companions obeyed the Messenger (pbuh) without question. They took their provisions, prepared their belongings and were ready to join the Messenger. The holy Qur'an even mentions people whose tears would flow when they were told by the Messenger that he was not able to accomodate them in the expedition (Al-Tawbah, verse 92).

The hypocrites hated the idea of travelling at this time. They preferred to stay at their homes to avoid the heat and the hardship. They wanted to harvest their crops and gain the financial benefits. They thought that it is illogical to travel at this time, and that they must take care of their families and provide for them. So they started to look for any excuse to disobey the Messenger. They started to tell each other and the believers not to go out in this intense heat, and Allah (swt) answered them in the holy Qur'an by saying that the heat of the Hellfire is even more intense, if they would just undestand! (Al-Tawbah, verse 81).

We need to stop at this point for a moment and reflect upon the actions of the hyprocrites. Many of us today, when we are told to obey the commandments of Allah (swt) and the Messenger (pbuh), we also make excuses, some of them are very similar to those made by the hypocrites at the time of the Tabuk expedition. For example, some of our dear sisters who do not wear the hijab would say that it would be too hot in the summer. Some of our dear brothers, when asked why they do not attend the Friday prayer every week explain that they do not want to look bad in front of their boss by being away for an hour every Friday afternoon. Almost all of us have made such excuses at one point or another in our life. It makes one wonder, if the Messenger (pbuh) was among us today and the revelation was still coming down, how many verses would be revealed about us and the excuses that we make for not following the commandments of Allah (swt) and the Messenger (pbuh)? May Allah (swt) guide us all and make us follow the footsteps of the companions who obeyed Allah (swt) and the Messenger (pbuh) without question and without hesitation.

The Messenger (pbuh) left with a large number of the companions towards Tabuk. Some of the companions were late making last minute arrangements but they continued catching up and joining the Messenger (pbuh). Only the hyporcites and those with a valid excuse were left behind. After some time, the Messenger (pbuh) started asking about people whom he didn't see. He wanted to know who obeyed the orders and who rejected them. It is as if he knew that this was more than an expedition. This was a test of faith. Allah (swt) wanted to test the Muslims to see who are the true and sincere believers and who are the people who will make up any excuse to stay in their comfortable life and to avoid any hardship for the sake of Allah (swt).

Indeed, it was a test of faith. There was no battle. After arriving at Tabuk, the Muslims discovered that the army that the Messenger (pbuh) expected to meet retreated when they got news that the Muslims were coming. The only battle was that of the believers against the shaytan (devil) and against their own desires. Those who overcame their desires and decided to obey Allah (swt) and the Messenger (pbuh), even through intense hardship, passed the test.

When they arrived back in Al-Madinah, the hypocrites went to the Messenger (pbuh), and one by one they would tell him their excuse. They would lie and make up stories to justify why they refused to obey the order. The Messenger (pbuh) accepted their excuses, although Allah (swt) exposed them in the holy Qur'an (see verses 90 - 96 of surat Al-Tawbah).

Three of the companions, the three who stayed behind, were different. They were in good health, and had enough wealth and resources that they could have joined the expedition. But they did not. The shaytan was able to overcome them. They disobeyed Allah (swt) and the Messenger (pbuh) and followed their own personal desires.

Ka'ab ibn Malik was one of those three men, and he later told his story. He said that he was in his full health and strength at the time of this expedition. He was also finacially able to go. However, he did not prepare when the others prepared, and he told himself that he would delay his travel and catch up with the expedition after a day or two. The days passed, and he kept delaying the travel, until it was too late for him to catch up. So he stayed behind, and he noticed that the only men remaining in Al-Madinah were the hypocrites, the sick and the elderly, which greatly saddened him.

When he heard that the Messenger (pbuh) arrived back in Al-Madinah, he went to the masjid to welcome him back. He initially thought of any excuse or lie to tell the Messenger (pbuh) in order to avoid angering him. But then he remembered Allah (swt), and he knew that Allah (swt) knows the truth that is in his heart. He realized that he should be honest, and that lying will not help him. In fact, it will only add more sins to the one he has already committed by not joining the Messenger (pbuh).

He arrived at the masjid, and found the hypocrites making excuses and lying to the Messenger (pbuh). He saw the Messenger (pbuh) was accepting their excuses, forgiving them and even praying to Allah (swt) to forgive them. However, being a true sincere and honest believer, he could not lie. He was just not able to lie.

He went up to the Messenger (pbuh), and the Messenger (pbuh) smiled to him but was visibly angry, and he told him to come close and sit beside him. He then asked him: "What made you stay behind, didn't you prepare to come with us?" Ka'ab ibn Malik replied: "By Allah, I was never in better health or wealth than I was on the day you left, and I had no excuse and no reason for not joining". The Messenger (pbuh) told him to get up and leave until Allah (swt) reveals his judgement. Only two other men had the courage and moral character to do the same as Ka'ab ibn Malik, accepting full responsibility for their actions and refusing to lie or make up excuses like the hypocrites did.

The Messenger (pbuh) asked the Muslims to boycott the three men. No one was allowed to talk to them, not even return their salam. Even their own families would not talk to them. The boycott continued for fifty days.

We must again stop at this point of the story and try to learn a lesson from the honesty of Ka'ab ibn Malik. Even though he saw the Messenger (pbuh) accepting the excuses and forgiving anyone who made up any excuse, he simply refused to lie. As a Muslim and a believer, he knew that lying was forbidden. He knew that he could not correct one sin by adding another sin to it. He knew that even if he lied and got away with it in this life, that Allah (swt) knows the truth and will hold him accountable for this lie on the Day of Judgement. He knew how bad the consequences of saying the truth would be for him in this life. But he chose hardship and misery in this life over saying one lie and deserving the punishment from Allah (swt) for it on the Day of Judgement.

We really should learn a lesson from the honesty of this man. How many of us would do what he did? How many of us would just have lied and made up an excuse and then said to ourselves that it is just a small lie, and that we will ask Allah (swt) to forgive us later? How many of us would have passed this test of sincerity? He could not bring himself to lie. We should follow his example, because this is the example of true and sincere Muslims. In fact, Allah (swt) pointed to this beatiful moral character in these three men who stayed behind in verse 119 of surat Al-Tawbah, where Allah (swt) advises all believes: "Oh believers, fear Allah, and stand with the truthful ones". This verse came directly after the verse that mentioned the story of the three men, and although they committed a mistake by not adhereing to the order of the Messenger (pbuh) to go on the Tabuk expedition, Allah (swt) forgave them and accepted their repentance, and Allah (swt) mentioned them as "the truthful ones" in the Qur'an. Their truthfulness and high moral character saved them from their sins and ensured their forgiveness. On the other hand, the hypocrites who thought that they got away with their lies, they did not gain the forgiveness of Allah (swt) and they will face a severe punishment on the Day of Judgement.

The story has a happy ending of course. Allah (swt), after 50 days, revealed the verse 118 of surat Al-Tawbah: "And to the three who were left behind (at the Battle of Tabuk), until the earth became narrow with all its vastness, and their souls became narrow for them, they knew there was no shelter from Allah except in Him. Then He turned to them (in mercy) so that they might also turn (in repentance). Allah is the Turner, the Most Merciful."

Their forgiveness was revealed in the holy Qur'an, and it came down from above the seven heavens. It has been recited since that day, and will continue to be recited forever by millions of Muslims around the world. Allah (swt) replaced their hardship and misery with the honour of vindication and of being mentioned in the holy Qur'an. This was their reward for their sincerity and honesty, even though they committed a sin and made a mistake. But they were sincere in their hearts, and they truely loved Allah (swt) and the Messenger (pbuh).

From this we learn that it is never too late to seek forgiveness. It is never too late to turn a new page. Allah (swt) forgives all sins, as long as we are sincere. As long as we love Allah (swt) and the Messenger (pbuh) in our hearts, and we ask for forgiveness sincerely, insha' Allah we shall be granted forgiveness by the Most Gracious and the Most Merciful.

When these verses were revealed, the believers raced to the home of Ka'ab ibn Malik to give him the good news. One of them even got on top of a house and shouted out the news. Every believer wanted to be the first to tell the good news to their brother. They went to his home, hugged him and congratulated him on the forgiveness that he was granted from Allah (swt).

What a beautiful example of brotherhood. They loved their brother. Even though they had boycotted him for 50 days, but when Allah (swt) forgave him they raced to hug him again! Subhan Allah, they loved and hated based on whom Allah (swt) loved and hated, not based on their own personal choice and their own desires. Even though their brother was a sinner, and he made a terrible mistake, and he disobeyed Allah (swt) and the Messenger (pbuh), they still loved him and were hoping he would be forgiven.

We should implement this type of love and brotherhood today amongst ourselves. Unfortuantely, many times when a Muslim commits a sin, the others will treat him badly. Even if he repents, they will still suspect him and never forget his mistake. These are not the manners of true believers. We should follow this beautiful example of the companions. We should rush towards those who repent, and love for our brothers to repent. We should love them and work with them to help them stop committing sins, not accuse them and fight with them and against them. We are all in this together, and we must help each other or else we will all lose everything in this world and on the Day of Judgement.

May Allah (swt) guide us all to what pleases Him.

this thing called love. finally some personal remarks on it.

lesson 2. you cannot make yourself love something or someone.

either you loved since eternity (azal) and your point in linear time where you start "loving" is just a discovery.

or you never loved anything since forever, and now loving it is not really love. it's a dillusion, a trick against yourself. a pit to jump into in pursuit of consolation. in vain.

Realisation

A beautiful person wrote this poem Alhamdulillah, and I thought it best to share:

"After months and after years

I have once again felt remorse,

Once again tasted tears

Of regret, anguish and depression

What have I been upto all this time?

What delusion have been influenced by?

Why didn’t I get out of this mess earlier?

Why didn’t the signs of loss draw near and clearer?

Have I been as bad as I am thinking,

Or even worse?

I hope I do not deserve myself a wrath or a curse

My last has always been You Allah

Now I want You to be my first

I want to take a fresh start

Kill every lower desire, every thirst

Take me away from myself

And return me when ever You like

Because I do not see a ray of happiness

in this stage of bright lights

I should have been destroyed by now but

You want me to love

Then I beg of You to make me find good

And turn me so I don’t crib

My heart is wounded with a thousand scars

But it hasn’t stopped beating

I repent every now and then

But I haven’t stopped cheating

You know Your ways and I know none

I am sitting here helpless

It’s You who will make me turn

Make me hate myself for once and for all

So that I don’t feel conceited every morning and by the night fall into a pitfall

Every day and every night cannot any longer be mundane

Pull me out, please, before I get used to this pain"

Sunnah or Waajib

Love Allah | Haq Islam

Love Allah | Haq Islam

Love Allah

Mar 1st, 2012

by Ahmed.

by Fatima Asmal

Rehana looked up from her cup of tea, and shook her head disapprovingly.

“How do I look, Azhar?” Tasneem, her 20-year-old daughter was asking her brother, as she made her way to the breakfast table.

“Fat,” giggled 14-year-old Azhar, returning to his plate of sausages and eggs.

“Fat is exactly what you are going to be, if you keep stuffing your face like that,” Tasneem retorted, admiring herself in the Defy oven.

Clad in her tightest pair of fitted blue jeans, beige clogs, and a transparent white cropped top, which barely covered her chest, let alone her tummy, Rehana thought her daughter looked…

“Disgusting.” She bit back her anger and tried to sound calm.

Tasneem shot her mother a furious look. “Who asked YOU? Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

“Tasneem, you make it seem as if I’m picking on you. But I’m not. At the end of the day my advice is only for your own -”

“Yes, yes, for my own good – save the speech for someone else Mummy. As you might have noticed, it was lost on me yesterday and the day before and the day before, so just put a lid on it now will you?”

Rehana shook her head again, at a loss for words. She looked in her husband’s direction, pleadingly. But he sat at the table, cup of coffee in one hand, newspaper in the other, engrossed in the sports pages. Perhaps he’s pretending, she thought. Like me he’s probably fed up with the endless arguments.

“I’ll be late, have evening lectures, so don’t ring me twenty thousand times, nagging me.”

Her daughter’s angry voice interrupted her thoughts. “Oh, so you aren’t going to eat now?”

Rehana suddenly noticed that Tasneem was slinging her campus bag over her shoulder, and making her way to the door. She motioned at her to sit down.

“No thanks – I’ve lost my appetite.”

“Gooood Fatty’s lost her appetite, she’ll get thinner now, and there’ll be more food for me…” Azhar sang, as he grabbed Tasneem’s plate.

“Shut up you little brat.”

“Tasneem.” Thankfully, this time, Iqbal did intervene. “Don’t be rude to your brother, he’s just joking. And listen to your mother and sit down. Unless of course you want your car to be taken away from you for a while.”

“Okay, okay, I hear you.” Tasneem grudgingly put her bag down, and pulled a chair opposite her mother.

Rehana smiled at her daughter. “I don’t mean to push you into doing anything you don’t want to do Tasneem. I’m not asking you to cover your face or anything like that. In fact, lately I haven’t even asked you to cover your hair. With the way you’ve been dressing lately, I’d be happy if you just wore longer tops and looser trousers.”

Tasneem sighed. “Look Mummy, we only live once. You had your fun – I’m not stupid. The whole family knows you and Daddy met at campus – and don’t tell me you were covering your hair then. So after having your fun, it’s very easy for you to sit back and preach to me.”

Tasneem, you are right, I only started covering my hair after you were born. And yes, I wasn’t a perfect Muslimah at campus – but don’t you see? I regret every minute of it, and that’s why I tried to encourage you to fear Allah from a tender age.”

“Fear of Allah is in the heart Mum. And you can’t judge what’s in my heart.”

Rehana nodded. “But at the same time, we have to project our fear of Allah on the outside too, Tasneem. And there’s a good reason we are instructed to dress modestly. Believe me Tasneem, you do want a boy to marry you for your inner beauty not for your body.”

Tasneem laughed heartily. “Mummmm, relax. I don’t have a boyfriend, and the last thing I’m thinking of right now is marriage. I just want to have fun, okay? Love you…See you later.” And with a frivolous peck on Rehana’s cheek, she was gone. Rehana put her cup of tea down. Once again her daughter had totally missed the point.

Iqbal smiled at her encouragingly. “At least you tried, Ray.” He shook his head sadly. “I gave up ages ago.”

“Oh, I won’t give up. We shouldn’t ever give up.”

“Tazzzzz – wow girlfriend, you look fantastic…” Aaliyah greeted Tasneem at the top of her voice, as they made their way to the campus cafeteria.

Tasneem giggled with delight. “Awww thanks. You look pretty cool yourself,” she said examining her friend’s new hairdo.

“Yeah, you two look great. I stayed up all night, studying for the Ecos test, no time to dress up this morning. I feel quite left out,” moaned Ayesha, rummaging through her bag, frantically searching for her mobile phone, which was bleeping away, signalling the arrival of a host of SMS-es.

“Ooooo Tazzz, look there’s Osama, checking you out again,” Aaliyah shrieked as they seated themselves at a table.

“Aaliyah don’t!” Tasneem rolled her eyes up in disgust.

“Hello? Am I missing something here? What are you two on about?” Ayesha tugged at Tasneem’s top.

Tasneem motioned in the direction of the table alongside theirs’. A heavily-bearded student, clad in a crisp white kurtaa, sat there, his face buried in a book.

“Is his name really Osama?” Ayesha asked.

“No silly…Aaliyah just calls him that, cos he’s always dressed in that garb and doing the Jumu’ah khutbahs.”

“Really?” Ayesha asked, interested. “So what does he talk about?”

“Oooo looks like you have competition Taz. Hands off Ayesh. He wants Taz.”

“Come on guys, I’m serious. What does he talk about?”

Aaliyah cleared her throat and waved her hand up in the air dramatically. “The temporary nature of this life…the frivolity and deception of youth…blah blah blah.”

“Okay, I’m definitely not interested.

Hey Tasneem, is he really into you? Did he like ask you out or something?”

“No way. Look at him, does he look the type?”

“Lower your voices,” Ayesha said. “I’m sure he can hear us.”

“Who cares if he does? Serves him right if he does -giving us Muslims a bad name, dressing like that, and always looking at the ground when he’s walking, as if his head is paralysed or something,” Tasneem replied, deliberately craning her neck and raising her voice.

For a fleeting moment, ‘Osama’ did look up, but he quickly returned to his book.

Aaliyah sniggered. “Well said Taz…Maybe you should be giving the Jumu’ah khutbahs.”

“Hey there’s someone who would look right at home, giving a Jumu’ah khutbah,” laughed Tasneem, revelling in their daily early morning session of juicy gossip. She pointed in the direction of the entrance, where a pretty girl, clad in a long-sleeved dress, and a neatly-tied scarf, was standing.

“Who is that Daadi-ma?” laughed Aaliyah.

“Come on girls, you’re just jealous, she’s actually very pretty,” said Ayesha.

This time ‘Osama’ definitely heard them. He looked up at the entrance and waved, a smile lighting up his serious expression. “Apaa, over here,” he called.

“What a strange name – ‘Apaa’.”

“Tazz. It’s not her name. It’s Urdu for ‘Big sister,’” Ayesha explained.

“Oh.” Tasneem’s voice reflected her disappointment. “His sister? And here I was thinking that maybe he wasn’t such a goody-goody after all.” She looked at her watch, and hurriedly stood up, detangling her bag from the back of the chair. She grabbed Aaliyah’s arm. “Come on., .we’d better make it for the English lecture now, if we want to catch an afternoon movie.”

“Yeah, okay.” Aaliyah followed her out of the cafeteria.

“What did you tell your Mum anyway?” Tasneem grinned.

“What else? The usual – evening lectures.”

Tasneem looked up at the sky, as she reversed out of the parking bay, It was a typically beautiful Durban day – ideal for the beach. Perhaps she should ring Aaliyah and Ayesha and tell them to meet her at Addington instead she thought, as she made her way out of the campus parking lot. “Nah, I don’t have my costume any way…” she said to herself. “Besides we’ve all been dying to watch this movie since it came out.” She turned on the radio, and smiled in delight as she recognised the familiar tune of Britney Spear’s latest hit, ‘Toxic’ She didn’t see him coming. There was a wave of white in front of her and a female screaming in the background as she slammed her foot on the breaks. It was too late.

“God, no,” Tasneem gasped, barely remembering to turn off the radio as she dragged herself out of the car. “Osama!” She was hysterical now, screaming incoherently and crying as she noticed the blood fast forming a puddle under him. “What have I done? No, no, no.” His sister was on the phone, trying to get medical assistance, her hand clutching her brother’s. “It’s my brother Sohail. We are on the main road outside Block B.”

Tasneem had seen someone die before. But looking at Sohail’s face, she realized that the death of that man, writhing and foaming after a drug overdose outside the night-club was very different to what she was witnessing now, Sohail’s face was serene, and he was smiling up at the sky.

“Sohail, I’m so s-orry,” she stammered. The smile didn’t leave his face.

“Love Allah Sister,” he said, in that same gentle tone which marked his khutbahs. And then without their assistance, he recited the Kalimah three times, and closed his eyes.

Tasneem looked up at his sister, afraid. “I’m so sorry,” she said.

“It wasn’t your fault, sister.” The tears finally came. “Sohail was in a rush to get to the mosque for ‘Asr, and he really wasn’t looking where he was going. I tried to pull him back, but-” She was sobbing now.

“It’s the Will of Allah Subhanuhu wa Ta’ala you know sister, but he was my little brother, and we were close.”

Tasneem shuddered as she thought of podgy little Azhar, and what she would do if someone knocked him down. One thing was for sure – the last thing she would be saying was that it was ‘the Will of Allah Subhanuhu wa Ta’ala.’ With a sick feeling in her stomach she recalled her nasty words of that very morning – to her mother, to Azhar…and worst of all – in the cafeteria: “…giving us Muslims a bad name, dressing like that, and always looking at the ground when he’s walking, as if his head is paralysed or something…”

“I’m so sorry Sohail,” she whispered again. Suddenly she felt naked. She made an attempt at pulling her flimsy top down towards her stomach, but failed miserably. Sohail’s sister, still crying, reached into her bag, and handed her a long black cardigan. The sounds of sirens approaching, Tasneem wore it hurriedly, her fingers quivering as she did the buttons.

She felt empty inside – I am giving them a bad name, she thought – Mummy and Daddy and Azhar, and Sohail and his sister…and Islam.. .I am giving them a bad name…

Rehana stroked her daughter’s hair, in an attempt to soothe her. It was well past midnight, but Tasneem lay on her bed, her eyes wide open, still visibly shaken from the events of the day. Iqbal came into the room, with a mug of hot chocolate. He kissed Tasneem on the forehead as he handed the mug to Rehana.

“I think you should sleep with her tonight,” he said. “Is she okay?”

Rehana nodded. “She’s going to be just fine.” As she put her daughter off to sleep, Rehana thought of the many events which had shaped her own character, and she remembered with certainty that not all of them were pleasant and happy events. Yet it was these very events which had brought her to where she was today: to wearing the hijab, to enrolling for the Islamic studies course, to Allah.. .to Allah…

May Allah Bless that little boy, she thought. In a day, in one sentence, he had managed, effortlessly, to succeed where she and Iqbal had not.

That evening, when Tasneem had appeared at the door, clutching the arm of a policewoman, her body wrapped in a cardigan, a scarf tied tightly around her neck, she had uttered the words which made Rehana realize the mistake she and Iqbal had been making, which made her remember how she had hated learning Qur’an as a little girl, because her madrasah teacher would hit her if she didn’t know her sabaq

“Mummy, mummy, I’m so sorry,” Tasneem had been hysterical. Holding on to Rehana, she had sobbed into her shoulder.

“Mummy, I killed a Muslim boy. But it was beautiful. I was scared. But he told me something before he died Mummy, something nobody had ever said to me before.

He said – he said, “Love Allah Sister.”