How Should We Sleep???

The Fountain Magazine | How Should We Sleep

O My God - a must watch.

this video is ideal to watch after isha time, after wasting time online and then regretting, after making a mistake and realizing how wrong i was.


i wont quit asking forgiveness from Allah, because He doesn't quit being Rahman. AstaghfiruLLAH alazee ar-Rahman ur-Raheem. huwa Rabbi alazee Malikee. I love Allah.

"I only complain of my distraction and anguish to Allah"

i recently had the privilege to learn this beautiful ayah in the Holy Quran

He said: "I only complain of my distraction and anguish to Allah and I know from Allah that which ye know not... Surah Yusuf (12:86)

and what came to my mind was the urge we have to call, email, sms, go to a friend's home as soon as we see some trouble or face it. and sometimes the friendship is so deep and so intense that if one friend doesn't share with another, there's a chance of mistrust, distance development and quarrel. it's a modern notion of friendship, a modern approach to venting out your feelings, of having "a shoulder to always cry on", but one needs to step back and read this ayah, and see what Prophet Yaqub (as) [Jacob] said to his sons. Prophet Yaqub had lost his beloved son Yusuf (as) [joseph] forty years ago, and now when his sons came to tell him that they lost another brother in captivity (father’s second favourite son Bin Yamin [Benjamin]), he said “I only complain of my distraction and anguish to Allah”… 

SubhanAllah!what an exalted, zabardast, beautiful integrity of a man that Prophet Yaqub was. That for forty years he had been patient and kind, not breaking ties with his sons, and at the same time not whining or complaining to the world or to God. He just quietly kept persevering, his heart heavy, his eyes constantly numb. and the maximum his humility allowed him to say was this > I only complain of my distraction and anguish to Allah”…  .although he was all justified to vent out anger. he needed email consolation, telephonic inspiring talk by a friend, and a shoulder to cry on more than anyone of us ever, but he didn't take support of anyone. he used the crutches of mercy and hope and expectation and positive thinking about Allah, made Allah his Best Friend and shared only stuff with him. shed some weight of his heavy heart in front of Allah only. Cried out of longing amidst the hope in front of Allah only. He knew what Allah could do and what He Did, that's why he complained of human feelings we all have of anguish and distraction to Allah alone. 
We on the other hand have the Book of Allah with us, in which Allah is telling us to put faith in Him , trust Him, take Him as our Confidant, as our true Best Friend, and it's a tragedy that we look for consolations from here and there. as a teacher of mine says it, we sell ourselves short. 

Bas this was on my mind, and i pray one day i can also come close to thinking that in at least one matter of my life, i completely complained of distraction and anguish to Allah alone. Atleast one....

1000

AlhumduliLLAH this moment marks 1000 visits on my blog. I owe it to that moment i decided to quit facebook and try something else. without any dramatic exaggeration, using this space instead of fb, for me, has been like moving into a new house, a new place, leaving your comfort zone and entering a new territory. this blog was created to make a new room, paint its walls , throw the trash, and find a cleaner neater place to spend some time online (until the habit breaks). borrowing a line from napoleon's mom, it's good so long it lasts :)... so yeah, this space is frost white, and may look inhospitable, but really i feel cool coming here. it's like a virtual sense of taking a breath in the fresh air while standing on top of a mountain, after a long hot day at campus and work, after a wholesome breakfast on a sunday, after a heat-wave of social interaction.

i pray that viewers take something from this blog every time they stumble upon it. i am not very excited about admitting that these days i dont have much thoughts, musings and reflections to share here. maybe it's a good thing. reduces self-centeredness for someone like me. you know how we are obsessed with what "i believe" and what "my opinion" is. and "what i think". if this was just the case, pep talk and motivational speeches and quotations would be taught, knowledge would have no room, and hoodboy would have become an icon. fortunately that's not the case, and the world has not completely gone to the dogs. there is still tradition, truth standing without pillars (i.e. opinions of every  other tom dick and harry), there is still value in sacred learning, a larger hierarchy in the cosmos and room for commands and orders that anyone's random opinions cannot poke holes in. so yes, glad that there is no urge in posting new posts. this very post one will suffice for some time as far as my two-cents to the world of opinions are concerned.

I envy.

بسم الله ألرحمن الرحيم 

I envy the sand that met his (peace and blessings be upon him) feet

I am jealous of honey he tasted sweet

Of birds that hovered above his head

Of spiders who spun their sacred web

To save him from his enemies

I envy clouds formed from seas

That gave him cover from the heat

Of the sun whose light could not compete

With his whose face did shin e so bright

That all was clear in pitch black night

I envy cypress trees that gazed upon his form

Completely dazed

Not knowing if the Sun had rose

Or if the sky was warm with those

Who knelt and prayed and fasted too

Simply because he told them too

With truth and kindness and charity

From God Who gave such clarity

His Mercy comes in one who’s sent

To mould our hearts more heaven-bent

I envy all there at his side

Who watched the turning of tide

As truth prevailed and falsehood fled

And hope restored life to the dead

And men and women found their place

With aspirations for God’s Face

I envy the cup that gave him drink

His thoughts that helped us all to think

To be one thought that passed his mind

Inspiring him to act so kind

For me this world is not one jot

If I could simply be a thought

From him to God throughout the ages

As Revelation came in stages

I pity all who think it odd

To hear him say there is one God

For he was sent by God to men

To hone their spirits’ acumen

It’s pride that blinds us from the sight

That helps all men to see his light

He taught us all to be God’s slaves

And He will Be the One Who Saves

The humanity from sinful pride

Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) has God on his side.

 Transcribed from Hamza Yusuf's recitation of an extract of the Burdah Sharif

Shaykh Kamaluddin Ahmed on Channel Islam - 3rd Feb 2011

Talk by Shaykh Kamaluddin Ahmed 

on 3 February 2011

Broadcast from Channel Islam International (http://www.ciibroadcasting.com)

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/10399817/CIIBroadcasting%20-%2003.01.11.wma

Remaining true to the Amaanah by Allah..

Shaykh Kamaluddin Ahmed 

on

Being an Ameen

on 22 January 2011

Broadcast from Birmingham

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/10399817/Being%20An%20Ameen%20-%20Sat%2022%20Jan%202011%20-%20Birmingham.wma

Get Well Soon

Dear Billy and Little Baby,
Get well soon so that we can party:):) The blog is so empty, kuch mazay ka likho na.

Love, hugs and Duas....Apple Sid

LUMS through my cam lens

this is outside the library where i have been lost and found most of the time at lums. this pic was taken during the mid terms week (october 2010). there's something beautiful about this mess on the racks. i never lost something from here.=)













when it starts getting cold and you just want to have a warm cozy time sitting outside the academic block on a brick sill, with the masjid minaret clearly in view. at 12 noon, the sun is at your back and it shines on the lums masjid in front of your eyes some 20 yards away. this pic was taken in november 2010

















chucky and most likely her little kitten. to be honest i am not sure if chucky is a male or female but i would like her to be a female. i will confirm with someone on college or maybe with chucky and update on its gender asap :) this is outside the superstore.














when the going gets tough: this was taken at the ground floor in the academic block. when people around you annoy you, and you become parasitic on your own self, and when courses and grades are low, you look at this light pouring on the floor from the glass 2 storeys above, and smile.

that's me

something i made on 10th october 2007 as part of cs-101 assignment. cute freshiness.

http://suraj.lums.edu.pk/~cs11106/

2010: Discoveries and Rediscoveries

this has been the second most exciting year of my life (nothing can beat 2009), and it's so because it's been full of new things i have learnt, and more than that, things i have relearnt, in sometimes a brand new way, and sometimes in an old manner but it amazes me i forgot my lesson from them from the last time :P. well that's me; actually that's human. i plan not to order and format this post, so here goes. straight from the heart, onto this blog.

1.  family is a beautiful gift, a blessing, a responsibility one can happily be ready to meet, any day, in any way.

2. you cannot pull or push fate and predestination. yes, this is part of imaan, the basics of faith...i learnt it back when i started to learn anything at all, but the start, mid and especially the end of 2010 has really taught me this. nothing really is in our hands.

3. self respect is irreplacable, irreparable. i (and you, and every single person of this creation) can only negate the self through drowning in love.

4. there is only one Being worthy of love. and that's Allah. no doubts, no questions, no second thoughts about that. when every one leaves, Allah still is with me. when i give up on myself, Allah doesn't quit on me. He is my Best Friend. He is my Reason. He is all my Reasons. Whenever, and whereever i have forgotten this and acted in opposition to this, infinite praise be to the Being that Allah Is, He has reminded me and pulled me out of the mess, the zulm that i do on myself. the reason why we lose out on people and ourselves is because we give ourselves in love to something and someone other than Allah. we sell ourselves way short of what worth Allah holds us in. He knows how to love. it's just sad that we forget it. why i say is that we forget it is because by default (by fitrah) we all love Him, but 4 things make us forget it, 3 of which are  shaytaan, dunya, nafs. your carnal, lower, mere self can be called nafs in Arabic.

5. reading 3 and 4 together, nothing that this world has to offer is above your self respect. note that self respect is not the same as ego. self respect is looking at your self in the mirror without complaining, walking down the street without worrying that others are looking at you. self respect is above liking someone. it's an amanat from Allah, so i should treat it that way.

6. honesty is beautiful. the constant whining and complaining we do about friends leaving us, backstabbers, dishonest companions, illogical outcomes,betrayals, is because we have not been honest to ourselves, friends and family. not been honest to God, to deen, to Sunnah.

7. toy story is the greatest movie ever. 1 and 3 are awesome, but 2 is super awesome. 

8. life becomes better increasingly as one keeps reducing watching tv. 

9. reading fiction aint as bad as i thought

10. i can read stuff on politics any time.

11. no matter how strong you are, how dominating a personality you may be, how well your leadership qualities may be, who you spend time with, eat and drink with, sit and walk with. basically your friends and your suhbat affect you like crazy.it will affect your thinking, your outlook, your sense of style, your lifestyle. it wont affect you ofcourse if you are hanging out cuz you are scared of being alone.

12. there's immense importance and need to be alone for some time everyday. it's a pleasure to sit alone everyday, with heart and mind pausing everything else in life and the world.

13. what's not liked by God cannot make you happy in the long run.

14. my heart is still yearning for Makkah and Madinah. the longing is not decreasing alhumduliLLAH

15. my opinion about facebook when i last signed in has not changed uptil now. 

16. doing masters is not that bad an idea afterall (just learnt it in the last week of dec 2010)

17. being free is not as attractive after you have had a good night's sleep. 

18. i will miss LUMS more than i thought i would. i will miss it because of what studying in its rooms gave me. what eating alone in the pdc made of me. what praying in the masjid built in me. i will miss its library and its people. some teachers, some students changed my life for good.

19. expect less, give more. 

20. my respect for Imam Ghazali has increased manifold.

21. my respect and love for Hadhrat Umr has surged manifold.

22. it's very very important to listen to the other person. 

23. the whole of bollywood sucks.(this is a near discovery)

24. being lazy is my weakest and worst habit.

25. writing is a great activity.

26. white all the way. i have tried countless themes and designs and backgrounds for this blog, and its the third time i am returning to plain white.. cyprus blue still is my favourite colour, but white might beat it very dangerously soon.=)

27. i love fridays.

more shall come, if i feel like entering them

but yes, 2010 was a lot of fun in the beginning. awesome in rajab and ramadan. very boring and dry, confusing and sad after september till december. great in december. from my gang, one friend got married, another had a baby. but my life remains flat and smooth, yet has been exciting for my soul and spirit. and i am loving it. All thanks to Allah. Love Him

Leaving Sin - Shaykh Kamaluddin Ahmed in Birmingham - 4th December 2010 -

Leaving Sin - 

Talk by Shaykh Kamaluddin Ahmed in Masjid e Hamza, Birmingham, UK

on Saturday, 4th December 2010

(Right click and "Save as...")

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/10399817/%5BComplete%5D%20Leaving%20Sin%20-%20Shaykh%20Kamaluddin%20Ahmed%20-%2004.12.2010.wma

the simple made complicated.

ignorance is bliss and i could not agree more at this point in time. i am too much aware of how and in what all things in the world i am wasting my time on, and what all i ought to do. it goes beyond a simple to-do thing. i know how important these things are for me to do. had i just known i have to do x,y and z by dates a,b and c [in my life for the most part a=b=c :( ] i might have been much much happier and felt much light at heart and head. but universities are inclined to make things complicated and so my list ends up looking like it is at the moment.
- have to write x, which can be on any thing from prehistory to WWII. yes that's the range. i cant decide whether to be a hunter gatherer or Constantine's soldier or head of Auschwitz. right now i am thinking i will just be a school father in Lagash 2350 B.C.E. but i really want to be Tariq bin Zayad's soldier in Gibraltar.
- have to assess the microfinance sector in Pakistan, in preferably 4000 words. sounds simple, but i can choose any variables to draw any conclusions. Sir rightly said there are no right or wrong answers, but that just added to the complications in writing an otherwise straightforward essay
- write a story. about anyone, anything, in real or imaginary world, set in any place and time. now we all know our lives deserve to go onto the storyboard and there's so much to learn from everyday experiences and daily musings of a university student with upset sleep cycle and stomach. i mean i can write a novel on alice's adventures on the student_events mailing lists and the climactic surprise ending of the Music society's anniversary concert. i can also write about a girl who always procrastinated and still didn't drop out of LUMS (because everyone else was no different, except ofcourse some ACFMs and excited freshies ).
now all these have to be submitted more or less in the same time frame, lets call the range B. B for Bah. B for BSc.
i wish i didn't know history was so rich, and that i could write on anything from a tree named barck,(a is deliberately missing) to a hanger in a laundry called Bella.there's just too much happening all the time. too much flux.
i think i will now write an abstract of my microfinance paper. more interestingly, objective findings of my university life suggest that too much freedom, not knowledge is a dangerous thing. awkward ending, but i really need to go.

25th November 2010 - Shaykh Kamaluddin on CII Broadcasting

Shaykh Kamaluddin Ahmed's Talk on The Merit of Abundant Remembrance (Dhikr e katheer) 

CIIBroadcasting, on 25 November 2010

(Right Click and Save As...)
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/10399817/2010-11-25%20Blessings%20in%20dhikr.wma

Nouman Ali Khan - Watch Your Tongue - Quran Weekly

read the comments on the page linked below:

http://forum.tayyar.org/f7/muslim-women-not-allowed-wear-hijab-while-playing-football-24097/

Go AKP! Go Turkey!!

Sultan of the Muslim World | Foreign Affairs

i am so glad to learn about AKP's leanings. it should be clear that you look
and feel good where you belong. and Turkey belongs to the East w.r.t
demographics and modern history. East here means Muslim Ummah

click here: Sultan of the Muslim World | Foreign Affairs

p.s: i was also wondering if the solution to some problems of the Muslim
ummah today is directly related to our strategies adopted in terms of 
foreign relations and outlook. i think we as muslims desperately need 
introspection: we should  dig inwards and try to revive ourselves with
clear priorities and identity, and this will show on us as an Ummah. in 
other words, build yourself strong from inwards, and other things will 
fall into place. and also think like this that i would want that
when someone looks at me, keeping in mind that i am a Muslim, s/he
should wonder "if this person is so awesome, i wonder how beautiful 
his Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) must have  been" . and 
in her/his  heart, s/he should feel like saying subhanAllah...

btw awesome here doesn't mean you being himym addict and definitely 
not that you wear a che guevara tee shirt. sheesh!

18th November 2010 - Shaykh Kamaluddin on CII Broadcasting

-in The Name of Allah-

(Right click and Save as...)

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/10399817/18-11-10.mp3

Multazim par Dua

Zahir Ki Aankh Say Na Tamasha Karay Koi
Ho Dekhna Toh Deeda-e-Dil Waa Karay Koi
Arr Baithay Kya Samajh Kay Bhala Tuur Par Kaleem
Taaqat Ho Deed Ki Toh Taqaza Karay Koi

Ilaahi Teri Chaukhat Par Bhikaari Ban Kay Aya Hoon
Saraapa Faqr Hoon, Ijz-o-Nadaamat Saath Laya Hoon

Ilaahi Teri Chaukhat Par Bhikaari Ban Kay Aya Hoon
Saraapa Faqr Hoon, Ijz-o-Nadaamat Saath Laya Hoon

Bhikaari Wo Kay Jis Kay Paas Jholi Hai Na Piyaala Hai
Bhikaari Wo Jisay Hirs-o-Hawas Nay Maar Dala Hai

Mata-e-Deen-o-Daanish Nafs Kay Haathon Say Lutwa Kar
Sukoon-e-Qalb Ki Daulat Hawas Ki Bhaint Chharwa Kar

Luta Kar Saari Poonji Ghaflat-o-Isyaan Ki Daldal Main
Sahara Lenay Aya Hoon Teray Ka'abay Kay Aanchal Main

Gunaaahon Ki Lipat Say Ka'ainat-e-Qalb Afsurda
Iraaday Muzmehal, Himmat Shikasta, Hauslay Murda

Kahan Say Laoon Taaqat Dil Ki Sachhi Tarjumani Ki
Kay Is Jhanjaal Main Guzri Hain Ghariyan Zindagi Ki

Khulasa Yeh Kay Bas Jal Bhun Kay Apni Ru-Siyaahi Say
Saraapa Faqr Ban Kar Apni Haalat Ki Tabaahi Say 

Teray Darbaar Main Laya Hoon Apni Ab Zabun Hali
Teri Chaukhat Kay Laaiq Har Amal Say Haath Hain Khaali

Yeh Tera Ghar Hai Teray Mehr Ka Darbaar Hai Maula
Saraapa Noor Hai Aik Mohbat-e-Anwaar Hai Maula

Teri Chaukhat Kay Jo Aadab Hain Main Un Say Khaali Hoon
Nahin Jis Ko Saliqa Maangnay Ka Wo Sawali Hoon

Zuban Gharq-e-Nadaamat Dil Ki Naaqas Tarjumani Par
Khudaya Rehem Meri Is Zamanay Bay Zubani Par

Yeh Aankhain Khushk Hain Yaa Rab Inhain Rona Nahin Aata
Sulagtay Daagh Hain Dil Main Jinhain Dhona Nahin Aata Hai

Ilaahi Teri Chaukhat Par Bhikaari Ban Kay Aya Hoon
Saraapa Faqr Hoon, Ijz-o-Nadaamat Saath Laya Hoon
Saraapa Faqr Hoon, Ijz-o-Nadaamat Saath Laya Hoon


Multazim par dua...by junaid jamshed

to download Multazim par Dua, click here

The Fruits of Virtue - IslamOnline.net - Living Sharia'h

what is increasingly amazing me is the stories of converts to Islam. it makes me thank Allah more and more that i am born Muslim. i could never had the enormous strength that these men and women have gathered and converted. SubhanAllah, Allah Guides who so ever He Wills, and He chose these people... so they are chosen ones :) and then Allah out of His infinite Mercy made so many like me born into a Muslim family... so we are lucky and chosen in our own way too.:) Alhumdullilah!!

bas ek dua:


زندگی رہے اسلام پر
خاتمہ ہو ایمان پر

Ameen...

enjoy the link below:


The Fruits of Virtue - IslamOnline.net - Living Sharia'h

power beyond influence that obama has... on me

i wont call it my 6th sense but a kind of a feeling inside me tells me that the state of nature so very taken as an underlying assumption in western political philosophy, is not true. life is not nasty, short and brutish. it's one thing for it to be like that originally and another for us to have made it that way. my understanding of state of nature is a realization of there being a good, and there being an evil, and then knowing whats good and knowing whats evil. and the very notion of there being a centre and a reference point for every other point to determine its position means that i can at the very max believe in one product of western political philosophy:  republicanism. now i don't know how much the republicans in america would hold the idea of there being a true, good beautiful truth out there somewhere, so i won't want to recognize myself as a republicans' supporter, ever, especially after U.S Invasion of Iraq. at the same time i don't want to recognise myself as a democrat, simply because i don't think i want to (6th sense again? :S) in any way, i dont hold nice views about democracy . i don't believe in rule of the mob( demos means "mob" in greek ). i am averse to the child democracy begets and tames and brings up, which is mediocracy. and democratic capitalism or capitalist democracy dont even deserve a place in my world of ideas, and if they did, it would be the dustbin at best.

i went on a tangent before even writing what i initially intended to. so i want to tell this: i have always been drawn by obama. maybe its the power of the voice as hitler correctly realised it. maybe it's the beauty of a country evolving enough to have an african american as a president. maybe it's his confidence. i dont know. i remember seeing him for the first time in 2004 on a channel in the u.s. then i subscribed to his party's newsletter and followed through for 1 yr (2007). after 3 yrs, and his defeat just 2 weeks ago at the midterm elections, i still subscribed to his channel on youtube today. and oh yeah i also added him on linkedin.com.

i would like to call this power. the purest form of power which is simple influence. no one has asked me to do all this. it doesnt mean a thing to me if i follow up on him. life moves on. my adamant position for an alternative idea to hobbesian view stands as firmly as before. i still believe america is very much in reality playing hegemony and marxists still fool themselves to believe that the rest of the world is playing periphery. all other things remain constant, except this: power that one person can have on another. this is my new undertsanding of power. other might think this is similar to liking someone: you like somebody and they have an "effect" on you.

i couldn't care less about obama as a person in private life. i dont like democracy. i dont like democracts' ideas or lifestyles. yet this man, through his rallies before, and his speeches later, and his confidence throughout, and his no-chickening now, has managed to hold my attention for more than 3 yrs now, which is a big deal as i, for one, have held ever changing opinions since 2007. he remains one constant in all this time, and this fascinates me.

however, this is not to dismiss my genuine disappointment in the policy the white house is adopting for israel-palestine issue, it's silence over many things between india and pakistan ...actually it's more than just plain silence. silent dance on the tunes of india ...

meri jaan Pakistan.

abdur razzak just brought a smile back to many pakistanis' face, including mine ofcourse. Pakistan won a match. very very close call against south africa. and while i clapped standing on my sofa and jumping down on the carpet time and again in the last few overs, i simultaneously kept thinking why i haven't seen even one pakistan cricket team shirt on campus in my 3 yrs at lums? is it a general uncool thing to wear the green and dark green shirt of our very own national cricket team? or is it that lums is an exception and the gcu, punjab uni, KE, iba and szabists and what not's boys wear them? whats the matter? i have even seen my mates wearing shirts carrying turkey's flag (yes, thats true) at LUMS. but not a single pk cricket shirt amidst the plethora of arsenal, manu, chealsea(a minority really), and ac milan home kits, away kits, and old kits and new kits. maybe we might find them as nightsuit items in the male dorms. but still. whats the matter guys?

my new mission is to find a backpack with pakistan's flag on it or something. if i cant wear a shirt on top of my abaya, i can wear a green hijab, and yes i will tomorrow. i dont know whats the matter. talk about political, youth, social, passivity. when will we show our true selves guys? we are afraid of speaking in punjabi in front of others. we find how bad we are at urdu to be as something to boast about. urdu literature doesnt become anything more than a university core course for many of us. paindoo day is when we wear what our dada/nana/nani/dadi and still many of our own blood relatives dress up. we find dressing like dacoits hot. one thing i can very assertively conclude is that the yo day(when we overdress the way we normally do :jeans and tee shirts) is much more paindoo than the original paindoo day, if we are supposed to give paindoo and coolness ordinal values in our cartesian world of awesomeness references.

kher, i have gone on a tangent, but really my point is, stop hiding yourselves. green and white is what we are, and if the rest of the world can recognize us as that, we should stop shying away from it. be true, be honest, be yourself, be Pakistani, have some self-respect, and stop suffering from upper-elite class insecurity and superiority (read inferiority) complexes.

even if pk didnt win today, but played a good game with a sportsman spirit, we should still have our pk shirts out, only if we had them in the first place. tsk. < sigh.>